- Holding your pee for as long as possible
- Eating an entire lunch in 4 minutes
- Fixing the copy machine in the 3 minutes before the bell rings
- Answering the same question 80 times in 20 minutes, without sounding frustrated
- Figuring which paper belongs to which kid in the pile of nameless multi-choice quizzes
- Deciphering a paragraph written by a 1st grade, mirror writer
- Race to find the gluestick with the missing cap
- Answering the phone about a bus change, answering a parent email and teaching someone how to regroup concurrently
- Accurately distributing all the jackets left on the fence after recess
- Figure out who is flushing pencils down the toilet
- Finish an acronym quiz - IEP, ADD, OHI, RTI, SST, my team came up 161 of them during one staff meeting!
There are a million of them! What would you add?? I think the contestants should start out as most new teachers do - empty room, some textbooks (not full class sets), perhaps a box of pens and a stapler... and some furniture. Provide a class of kids -anywhere from 22 to 35 kids of varying ability levels. First test, second week of school - GO!
First elimination challenge - Meet the Teacher Night (make sure those bare walls are adorably covered!) - answer all questions, memorize each child's name, allergies, likes and dislikes, and take notes as half of the parents tell you that there is too much homework and half the parents tell you that their child needs EXTRA homework everyday, and that they were hoping to get teacher x, and cried when they found out they would be having THE NEW TEACHER - all while smiling!
Next elimination challenge - first day of school, help all students find their desks, sort 4500 forms being sent in, put away supplies, stop the crying (the students, and yours), keep the students busy, engaged and happy, move new desks into the room for students being enrolled throughout the day, establish an atmosphere of mutual respect and trust, comfort and fun. Keep up the the transportation changes throughout the day and then....(start praying) MAKE SURE EVERYONE GETS HOME ON THE RIGHT BUS, RIGHT CAR OR DAYCARE VAN.
I could go on forever, open house, conferences, emails, parties, PTA meetings, concerts, FIELD trips.... contestants should be in this for a full school year.
Grand prize - $38,000 - the national average, beginning teacher salary!
Do you think anyone would sign up???
If it takes off, the spin off could be "Desk Hoarders" - a whole show about finding unfinished work (and so much more!) in student desks.
You have to LOVE this job to do it! I am so glad I do!
Hope your day was full of finished work!
Ha! It would never happen though...because you know those "reality shows" are such B.S.
ReplyDeleteIt'd be fun to think about it. I think it should be like The Apprentice. Put a bunch of these big wigs who make decisions about education in my shoes for even a day (especially this year in my split with all of the varying abilities I have) and I guarantee half the policies in place would be rescinded immediately!
Pens and a stapler?? That's more than I got my first year!
ReplyDeleteI've got one: the 100 meter dash (ie. catching a child who has run out of your room).
In heels and a skirt!
DeleteWhat about throwing them into a teacher hoarder room? My first year the previous teacher retired and left EVERYTHING, I'm talking 40 + years of stuff and it was all at least 10 years old! I'd rather have a bare room then to sort through and chunk all that stuff again! Same goes for my current classroom. Me and my partner teacher share a HUGE closet between rooms and the previous teachers just shoved SO MUCH junk in there. I've been in that room a year and a half and we still don't have it all gone.
ReplyDeleteOr...teaching a child how to use a computer..."It just exited out all by itself"
I like this! I could go on and on! I love the hoarders desk idea!
That would be a great challenge! Get them all on the internet at the same time! I love it!
ReplyDeleteThen to have every computer "mess up"! Ugh!
ReplyDelete